For those who know me, you know that I have a bit of an obsessive personality. When I get involved in something, I tend to dive into it head first, and keep my head buried there until I’ve learned everything I could, or get sick of it. My current subject of obsession is the MMO game DCUO. For the uninitiated, that means Massively Multiplayer Online game, DC Universe Online.
I have been playing this game since early to mid April of 2011, and have been on it pretty nonstop over that time period. The only time I’ve taken off from the game is when I’ve been away from the house for trips that went multiple days, or when my wife has forcibly dragged me away from it in order to do something else that isn’t related to it. It’s gotten to the point where I feel antsy when I don’t get on the game, because I feel like I’m missing something. Just from that sentence alone, you can tell I’m addicted.
Over the time that I’ve played this game, I’ve gotten to know a few new people(about as well as you can know people that you meet on an online game) and gotten deeper into the world. This mostly came about from forming our own league, and my desire to want to actually get to know these people, instead of just mindlessly playing a game. I actually look forward to interacting with these people on a regular basis. However, being one of the founders of the league, I’ve taken it upon myself to be responsible for the well being of the characters that have joined the league. This mainly includes making sure people are keeping in touch with each other, helping each other get stronger in game, and keeping up on strategies when it comes to in-game content. The problem with this is that I tend to get a bit tense when someone in the group isn’t playing up to my standards, which has lead to some spectacular (or pathetic) blow-ups on my part.
Sadly, the target of these blow-ups has primarily been one of my best friends from my real life. In fact, this is the guy who got me into the game in the first place. Without him, I wouldn’t be playing it, so I don’t know if I should be thanking him or strangling him. Anyway, the main issue is that I feel bad about getting upset at him enough to yell at him, because it means that the game is taking precedent over the friendship, and that shouldn’t be the case. However, I’m a perfectionist about things like this, and when things don’t go smoothly, despite having everything explained beforehand, the desire to target the source of the “problem” takes over, and common courtesy goes out the window.
This is generally believed about people who play MMOs; they lack social graces. This being my first MMO, I never understood why people believed that. After having been on it for some time, I understand completely. People who lose themselves in these games (myself being an example) are looking for some sort of success that they might not be able to attain in real life. Anything getting in the way of that success is an obstacle that must be eliminated. When you’re trying to beat a raid, and someone on the team isn’t doing their part up to your standards, then they become an obstacle, and you feel the need to do something about it, as they are standing in the way of your success.
It’s easy to forget there’s a person on the other side with real feelings and emotions, since you don’t see them, so it’s natural to just stomp on them in order to get what you want. Most times, it’s someone you don’t know, so a lot of times, you can just never deal with that person again. However, when that other person is a friend, there needs to be some perspective on how you treat that person. It’s really easy to lose sight of that when you’re trying to do something, and things go wrong. It’s never right to yell at someone, but having been in this game, and dealing with people on a non-face-to-face level, it’s really easy to just say “screw it” and be a big ass.
There is a definite need to rein it in. Being addicted to this game as bad as I’ve been, there is definite need of some middle ground. If I can’t play it without being an ass, then that means I’m not being a good person, and if this game is making me worse, then I need to stop. I like playing it, but I like my friends more.
