You never know where life is going to take you. I’ve spent the better part of the last 29 years doing what I thought was necessary in order to ensure that my life was one of security and general happiness. Over the course of the last two and a half months, I’ve discovered that the path I was on may not have lead to anything more than mediocrity, headache, and heartbreak. Taking the safe road may lead to security, but it also leads to predictability and ultimately, boredom.
I’ve been wrestling with the question of what should I do with my life for a long time now. For the longest time, I thought that having a job in a field that I was comfortable and talented in would be the best course of action. Computers was the life for me, and that’s where I would be as my career was growing and molding itself. After nearly a decade in the field, and I had come to realize my big mistake. The main problem with going into a job that you have a natural talent for is that it can get far too easy, and in turn lead to no mental stimulation. So I was getting bored, and it didn’t help that I was working in a field where the job was basically thankless. When you spend several years languishing in a position where you’re basically just trying to get things back to status quo, you quickly come to realize that your presence is only noticed when something goes wrong. No one really cares about you unless they want something from you, or at least that’s the impression you get after being treated that way for too long.
So after trying to advance to a managerial position and getting shot down, I decided the best thing to do was to be with my wife. After having been separated for nearly 7 months, due to her position as an ALT, it was time to be reunited, since I no longer had any reason to stay in the position that I was in. This meant that I’d have to uproot my entire life and relocate to Japan, where my role in the relationship would drastically shift. No longer would I be the breadwinner, the main man. I’d have to instead play a supportive role, which was not something I was used to. While my wife would be supporting us financially, and giving me the opportunity and ability to leave my job without worrying about how we were going to live, it was something that took a lot for me to accept. At first, I was hesitant to leap into this, as I was unsure as to how I would adapt. I honestly didn’t know how I’d react to being the person to stay at home and take care of the household, take care of the meals, and basically be comfort for my wife as she returned from a day at work, possibly irritated by the way the day went, or just too tired to interact with me, as I would be pretty isolated out here.
Admittedly, at first it was tough. The only thing keeping me sane while my wife was away at work for much of the day was Skype and the opportunity to talk to a good friend of mine who simultaneously kept me connected to the world back home, and who eased my assimilation into my new surroundings. However, he was doing much more than that for me while I was struggling with my new situation. He was encouraging me to explore new paths in my life, which had started even before I had left the US for my new life. He was pushing me to step into the more creative side of my personality, to embrace the artistic side of my being. This was a bit of a strange leap for someone who had spent the majority of their life being a technical person. I was good with computers, but what the heck did I know about doing anything artistic?
This got me to thinking though. Nearly all of the people in my life (excluding my family) are creative types. Two of my friends are musicians, another two are photographers, several are writers, and even my wife is a knitter and loves her arts and crafts. It is commonly said that like attracts like. If this is true, then was it possible that I had some sort of creative spark in me? Trying to look at my life from another perspective, there was a possibility. I was constantly singing to myself, whenever I would be out and about, always trying to fine-tune my voice, and I have always been interested in music. The guitar and piano have always fascinated me, even though I had never really tried to play them. The few times I had tried to learn an instrument, it was ultimately squashed due to lack of time or lack of motivation or energy to continue.
I am currently in a perfect position to try to explore my creative side now. I have loads of free time now, and maybe it’s the right time to travel down a path that I was previously unable and unwilling to journey through. I have had some encouragement, some from random people telling me that I have a decent voice, but mainly from my friend whom I am in constant contact with, and my wife who is willing to let me see this through, and who is incredibly encouraging when it comes to my forays into things other than working at things that give me headaches. She honestly wants to see me happy, and I’m lucky to have someone who is willing to put up with my randomness.
So what does this mean? Well, mainly that I’ll be trying some new things. I’ve already began posting up some videos on YouTube, displaying what little talent I may have for singing. The next step is trying to pick up an instrument, preferably the guitar, to broaden my musical horizons. I have no idea if it will work out, but it will at least be interesting to see where it leads me. I would never have thought that this is where life would lead me, but I’m willing to see it through to whatever comes next. Guess I’m ready for that next adventure finally…
